pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
