I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
