I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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