I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
