omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize