We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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