have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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