Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
