Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
