woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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