I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
