WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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