Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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