she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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