Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize