Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize