hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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