I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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