Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
