but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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