When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Houston, we have a squirter
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
