mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
