He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
