My nipple is on Facebook.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
