this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
