you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He did a backflip because drugs
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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