I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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