Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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