so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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