I showed him my bush... on skype.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
