I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
