the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
