when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I am morally bankrupt
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
