I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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