does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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