The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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