Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize