I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
