dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
