why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
