Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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