well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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