we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
