my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
