I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
