I wish I only lived at night.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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