Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
