Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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