Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize