I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
