I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
