Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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