Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
