We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
