you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
