Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
