I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
