I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
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Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize