Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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