Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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