I want to have your abortion
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
