I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
